Definition: (according to Urban Dictionary):
An awful illness that prevents freshers… from attending lectures in the first term.
Causes: Too much drinking and too many late nights being crammed together with people from all over the country at events like the fresher’s ball that have always been booked in a tiny venue with limited space.
You’re also rarely sleeping. During the day you’re out socialising and trying out different clubs and societies and during the night, you’re out until 3am drinking and clubbing.
You haven’t touched a piece of fresh fruit in about a week, and you might have even had too many greasy take-outs that seemed like a good idea when you were peckish at 1am.
Symptoms: physical exhaustion. Your feet hurt, your legs ache and you have bruises you can’t remember getting. Headaches, nausea and tiredness. You’ve developed a cough that makes you sound huskier than you’d like and not even in a ‘sexy’ way. Plus, you may even lose your voice entirely. This list is not exhaustive; you may also have all of the other gross symptoms of flu that I didn’t want to identify.
Sounds familiar? You have fresher’s flu!
Oh no! This will no doubt be the worst cold you have all year and if you actually do make it to lectures, well done soldier.
Tips for recovering quickly:
- If it’s a weekend and you have nowhere to be on Monday morning and you’re tired, go home to your parents if possible! A nice warm meal cooked by your mum and a good night’s rest in a bed with no springs digging into your leg is just what the doctor ordered.
- Lemsip it up, baby! It truly is the best cold & flu medicine, and as a person who is continually ill, I practically live on the stuff so feel wise enough to recommend it. The “max-all-in-one” is quite good as it aims to fight all the areas where you ache and it includes paracetamol. I recommend stirring sugar into it or shotting it. (Hey, you did shots of tequila last week, is there really a difference between the taste of that and of lemsip?)
- Cranberry Juice – the drink of the gods! Cranberry juice is one of the best things you can drink to stay healthy and to keep up your immune system. It’s full of antioxidants and vitamin C, and it tastes quite good! Plus, if you really have to drink and socialise you could always try a Vodka Cranberry and hit 2 birds with 1 stone. Although, even though I’m no medical student, I don’t recommend mixing medicines with alcohol!
- Eat lots of grapes – that’s what they stereotypically bring to sick people in hospitals, so I’m sure it must do the trick. Just pretend the flu is really, really serious and lounge out on your tiny, uncomfortable hall bed feeling really sorry for yourself and ask for get well soon cards from your friends and family.
- Drink hot teas and soups, they will soothe your sore throat.
- Take a hot bath and steam that yuck out of your system!
- Get lots of sleep and rest. I know it’s still the beginning of term and you need to be social, but still make time for yourself to relax. No one wants to talk to someone who sounds and looks like the Grinch.
- Finally, if none of the above works: skip lectures and lay in bed all day drinking soup and watching silly RomComs on your laptop until you are ready to face the world.
As for TLS? We’re second years so we’re immune (and we’re also barricading ourselves in until the start of lectures).